she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
