apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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