My entire life is one complicated drinking game
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I need to align my fucking chakras
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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