she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
