Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You don't make any sense
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