He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
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