Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
