i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
