watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
