i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize