What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
