I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
