I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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