I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
