I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
