Swine flu is the new snow day.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
