ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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