2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
