Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
