he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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