Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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