that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
