I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
