I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
