Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
