It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
there is glitter all over my balls
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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