I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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