Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
