This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
