What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Randomize
