she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
