she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
