chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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