Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
