Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
