my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
