why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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