why didn't you poke me back
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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