so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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