i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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