I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
