i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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