she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
