The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
