I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
