It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
