is your mom at the bar?
Is it because I queefed?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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