Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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