Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
