i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
only if we run a train.
done.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
