please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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