She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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