she woke up with a sticky ear
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
