i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize