Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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