Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
