I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
So many bounce houses so little time
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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