We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
