Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
