I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Do you still have your period?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
