Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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