Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
