I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Your cock deserves a montage
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Randomize
