Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
