At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
