Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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