so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I love having hate sex.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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