ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
