'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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