i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize