I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
