Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
only if we run a train.
done.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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