I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
