I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
